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Chuck Norris
Summary Chuck Norris is an American martial arts icon known mostly for the popular book "Chuck Norris facts". He is the most powerful being on the internet and the chosen one destined to bring balance to the universe. History and Background Genesis In the beginning, when God created the universe, he uttered the phrase "Let there be light", Chuck Norris said back "Say please", and so God did, and Chuck created light. After he was done creating the universe , Chuck decided to rest, but only for a little while, because pretty soon, he would have to take a trip to Mars. Battle on Mars It is said that the reason there is no life on Mars is that Chuck Norris has been there, that saying is 110% true. in the year 10,000,000,000,000,000 BCE, the Martian Empire controlled 22.7% of the universe, they had enslaved countless alien races and drove most themthe to extinction. Chuck was not happy about what the Martians where doing, so he decided to pay them a visit, so he went to see the Emperor of Mars and demanded that he set all captive planets free, and so Chuck said that is he could find the square root of Chuck Norris, he would be allowed to keep all the planets and stars under his control. Not realizing that this was just a trick, the Emperor of Mars found that the square root of Chuck Norris the was pain, he told this to Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris replied "Never square Chuck Norris" and performed a roundhouse kick which destroyed the entire Martian race forever. Personality Chuck Norris is known to be a baddass, he is very cool and dangerous. Powers and Stats Tier: Memetic Classification: '''The Greatest Hero in History, The Perfect Man, The Only Cowman '''Powers and Abilities: Superhuman Physical Characteristics, Immortality (Type 3) Regeneration (Low-Mid, was able to walk off from losing both of his legs in a car accident), Technological Manipulation, Martial Arts, Weapon Mastery, Nigh-Omniscience (Knows everything there is to know, except for the meaning of mercy), Time Manipulation (Time refuses to tell him what time it is, can send his foot flying into the past and attack his opponent "yesterday", can damage Time by roundhouse kicking it), Death Manipulation (He guides natural selectionpassively by allowing or disallowing creatures to live), Heat Manipulation, Water Manipulation, Stealth Mastery, Fear Manipulation on a conceptual level (Inanimate objects bend to his will out of fear despite not being sentient. Space expanded off of the planet in a constant effort to escape Chuck Norris, Time refuses to tell him what time it is, Evil itself fears him, Fear itself fears him), Law Manipulation (Crushes facts with his bare opinion), Transmutation (Can stretch coins into dollars, can turn horses into giraffes by uppercutting them), Illusion Creation/Shapeshifting, Air Manipulation (Can create tornadoes via sneezing), Enhanced Senses (Can taste lies and hear silence), Sound Manipulation, Empathic Manipulation (Can make onions cry), Information Manipulation, possibly Telekinesis, Healing (His tears can cure cancer), possibly Longevity, Power Bestowal, Attack Reflection and Resistance to Poison Manipulation, Ice Manipulation (A snake died from its own venom trying to bite Chuck. Chuck is also immune to frost bite because he "bites frost"), Omnipotence, Omnipresence Attack Potency: Memetic Infinity '(Killed an army of 50,000 without shooting. Killed all life on Mars. Broke a Nokia. The infinity stones are just his kidney's. Can beat the Sun in a staring contest. Created all light in the universe.) [[Speed Scale|'Speed]]: Ludicrous Speed (Capable of running so fast around the Earth that he can punch himself in the back of the head.) Lifting Strength: Memetical '(When he does push ups he pushes the Earth down.) 'Striking Strength: Memetical '(One Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick is estimated to be equal to the Big Bang.) 'Durability: Memetic Infinity '(Stepped on a Lego, which caused the Lego to cry, uses this for Toilet Paper) '''Stamina: '''Infinite (Chuck Norris doesn't get tired.) '''Range: '''Infinite (Chuck Norris is always watching.) '''Standard Equipment: '''AK-47's, The third fist hidden in his beard 'Intelligence: '''Beyond Omniscient (Never wrong about anything ever, and if he is wrong, he will automatically become right) '''Weaknesses: '''Getting his chest hair pulled can severely drain his power '''Notable Attacks/Techniques: * '''CNRK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick): '''A powerful kick that can kill omnipotent beings with complete ease. * '''Third Fist: '''Chuck Norris strikes with the third fist hidden in his beard. * '''AK-47 Barrage: '''Chuck Norris pulls out twin AK-47's, causing his enemies to die before he even starts shooting. Trivia * When Chuck Norris can create a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together. * There was once a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives. * Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet, he scares the shit out of it. * There are no Chuck Norris jokes, only Chuck Norris facts. * Chuck Norris died in 1998, but hes alright now. * Chuck Norris built the hospital he was born in. * Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his living room, it isn't dead, it's just to afraid to move. * Chuck Norris tears can cure cancer, but he has never cried. * Chuck Norris doesn't lie, he changes facts. * Chuck Norris eats soup with chopsticks. * Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and got one. *Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves. *Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 55 minutes having sex with his waitress. * According to Einsteins theory of relativity, it is possible for Chuck Norris to kick you yesterday. Category:Characters Category:Male Characters Category:Memes Category:Memetic Category:Americans